guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
So many bounce houses so little time
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
