you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Randomize
