cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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