I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
