There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
