they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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