just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You are a genius and a whore.
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