white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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