my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
