so that wasnt chicken after all
Please, let me fuck your mom
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
