just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
