I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
