there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Randomize
