im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
