I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
