No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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