I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
