Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Im just a social blackout drinker.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
