I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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