she looked like the bat from fern gully.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
