Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
