my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
