dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
