I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
