its not stalking. its research.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I have aggressive nipples.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize