You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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