Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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