im drinking this country out of the recession.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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