What did we do last night that was yellow?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
