I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
