ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize