I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Are we still banned from the library?
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
40s are totally the cure
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
