I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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