watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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