I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
