Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We need a shit load of segways right now
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
