Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize