you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
