everyone is single if you try hard enough
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
