a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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