Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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