I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
