Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Randomize
