we're blogging at a bar
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
