Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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