I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
