I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Let's get the cat blown out
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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