I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Randomize
