my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
