Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
