i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
