I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize