I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
