Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
