At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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