So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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