is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
