Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
