I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
