when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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