Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
