I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
