you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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