I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
