only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We have so much sex to catch up on
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
