I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
